Perfectionism – Mihai Herman

SAP003: Fears & Successful Book Marketing with Alex Echols

Today, it’s all about fears, perfectionism, mentors and successful book marketing with my guest, and friend, Alex Echols.

About Alex Echols

He is a best-selling author for entrepreneurs and individuals who want to create profitable online businesses closely related to their passion.

You can find out more about him and follow his work at alexechols.com or over at his new venture ultimatebizbuilders.com (catch the webinar on March 24th about building a business from your passions!)

Did I mention that Alex has worked with companies like DreamWorks, TEDx, IMAX, Paramount or Mindvalley?!

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Hit PLAY!

Video Version

Get His Book: Two Week Notice

Less than a year ago, Alex published a book (not his first one, watch the interview to learn why) together with Andrew Gottlieb and Sulinya Ramanan. The book is a user-friendly guide to discovering your passion and building a successful business around it.

I’ll be honest: I got the book, but I haven’t read it all, but what I read was fantastic especially for young entrepreneurs like myself.

You can purchase the book on amazon.com!

[thrive_leads id=’447′]

The Questions That I’ve Asked Alex

NOTE: these were not the only questions of the interview, but the questions that started the conversation.

What were some of the fears and doubts you had when you first started on this path of entrepreneurship?
Who inspires you? Who can you say were your mentors? Direct or indirect, it does not matter 🙂
How do you deal with a bad or stressful day? How do you deal with failure? (you’ll love his reply!)
How do you deal with perfectionism on a day to day basis? What advice do you have for fellow entrepreneurs?
In your book “The Two Week Notice” you talk about discovering your passion. What would you say are the fundamental steps for doing so?
What does it mean to write a book? How much time should you allow yourself?
What would you say are the biggest myths of writing a book?
What marketing strategy played the most important role in the success of your book?

Resources Mentioned During The Interview

Key Lessons

Most important doubts and mindset blocks that he had “am I good enough”, “do I have the right resources”, “do I have the money”, “was I old enough”.
His first mentors while growing up were his parents and his sister.
“One of the most powerful things that mentors can help you with is to see.”
The fundamental step in living a wonderful life, is discovering true passion.
While working on discovering your passion, you need to put in the work, take action, try new things, jobs and eventually you will find the one that feels right.
In order to successfully market a book, you need brand ambassadors, aka people that love you and are more than happy to promote your book.

Alex is young, super inspiring and an example for all youngsters out there doubting themselves if they should pursue entrepreneurship or not. It is possible and it can be FUN!

My goal is for you to always get at least one big idea from these interviews.

I’d love to know what resonated with you the most (in a comment below).

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SAP002: The Anatomy of A Good Brand Story with Julia “Juju” Hook

Today, I get to feature another inspiring entrepreneur and one of my favorite people from which I’ve learned A LOT even if she doesn’t know how much of a big impact she’s made in my life.

About Julia “Juju” Hook

Julia Hook has been helping companies build brand identities for the past 25 years and you can follow her work over at strategicjuju.com.

She also launched an online course that promises to make your brand unforgettable and is currently accepting new students. Check it out at unforgettableu.com

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_tagline_box backgroundcolor=”” shadow=”yes” shadowopacity=”0.3″ border=”3px” bordercolor=”#4eccc3″ highlightposition=”top” content_alignment=”left” link=”” linktarget=”_self” modal=”” button_size=”” button_shape=”” button_type=”” buttoncolor=”” button=”” title=”Spoiler Alert” description=”Learn the difference between the brand story and back story + WHY one is more important than the other.” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”5px” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][/fusion_tagline_box]

Hit PLAY!

Video version

Freebies From Julia

The Anatomy of a Brand – free download!
10 Steps to Building a Brand – free download!

Great Reads From Juju’s Blog

Julia is an amazing writer and I don’t know how she does it, but she publishes an article twice per week and they are not 400 words long. I’ve scanned through her blog and selected these three articles for you that are super valuable:

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The Questions

Among other stuff, these were the main questions in our conversation.

Tell us a bit about yourself and about your story, how did you started and, more importantly, why did you started.
What were some of the fears and doubts you had when you started out as an entrepreneur?
How did you get to know yourself better, your body and listen to what your intuition is telling you? Can you recommend an exercise, a book?
How do you deal with failure, bad days or days when you feel like not doing anything?
Who are your mentors?
What makes a good brand besides color, logo and business cards, of course?
If you were to pick just one, what would be the most important aspect of a brand?
What is the anatomy of a good story?

Resources

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (via amazon.com)

Key Takeaways

Initially, as an entrepreneur, you don’t get the luxury of choosing your clients, mostly because you don’t know with whom you’d like to work with, but also because you need to make money in order to grow the business.
“The concept of fixing yourself indicates, in some way, that you are broken.”
“I don’t believe anymore that I need to fix anything at myself and that’s a tremendous weight off my shoulders. It’s not egotistical.”
“Comparison is a thief. We compare to other people and it robs us of our self-esteem, our ability to move forward and it robs us of the ability to see ourselves clearly.”
“The impostor syndrome was one of the biggest mindset blocks I had.”
“Balance is a practice. Entrepreneurship is a practice. Everything is life is a practice.”
“Perfectionism can torture you, but it’s also the driving force behind your success.”
The brand story is more important than the back story. The back story is your story and its point is to validate your expertise.

Hope that you’re feeling a bit more relaxed after watching this interview, not trying to fix yourself that much, but I also hope that you’re walking away with at least one big idea about branding that you can implement this week. Julia has a way of making branding fun and easy to understand.

Julia has a way of making branding fun and easy to understand, doesn’t she?!

Had an “AHA! Moment” while watching this interview? Share it with me in the comments section below!

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[VIDEO] 12 Signs You Are a Perfectionist Entrepreneur #CurePerfectionism

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft.”

– Anne Lamott

How do you know if you are a perfectionist?

Watch the video and learn the most common signs of being a perfectionist entrepreneur.

Perfectionism does not give us the chance to connect at all. Why? Having a relationship means having to connect. Connecting means being vulnerable. And being vulnerable is NOT something that perfectionist people (entrepreneurs included) do.

I chose this topic so that I could bring more awareness on the matter that is affecting so many entrepreneurs these days. The problem is that they don’t even know that some of their “issues” are related to perfectionism.

You will be amazed that some of these “issues” are actually tied up to being a perfectionist. From what I see, people believe perfectionism is just about overthinking a project or postponing things until they are perfect, without realizing that it’s much more complex than that.

Here are 12 signs that are probably the most common and big ones, but there are lots of nuances around perfectionism, especially in the entrepreneurial world, to talk about.

You might be a perfectionist if:

you procrastinate
you are paralyzed by fear of FAILURE
you find it very hard to make a decision
you care too much about what people think
you set unrealistic goals
you constantly feel disappointed in yourself
you beat yourself up for EVERY mistake
you don’t love yourself (see this interview)
you expect your life to be a straight line UP
it’s super hard for you to accept down times or any sort of negative feelings and situations because it does not align with your “perfect” vision of life
you never feel like you are GOOD ENOUGH (why would you, if you’re not perfect?!)
you do not know how to celebrate a WIN because, for you, it’s never ENOUGH.

See what 20+ Entrepreneurs answered to the same question “You are a perfectionist if…”!

What if I told you there is a different way that will allow you to enjoy life more? A different way that will allow you to take things less seriously and that will allow your business to GROW because of it?

Yes, it is possible!

Perfectionism is LEARNED. It’s time to UNLEARN it!

If you’re a perfectionist, I invite you to join the FREE LIVE TRAINING and understand how it affects your business and what you can do about it. You just have to make a decision and be determined.

I promise that your business will never be the same again after this live training.

– Mihai Herman

[VIDEO] 20+ Top Entrepreneurs Answer “You Are A Perfectionist If…” #CurePerfectionism

Super excited to share this little project with you guys because I’ve put my heart and soul into it and I am really proud of the result.

You all know that #perfectionism has kept me stuck for such a long time (and it still does every now and then) and I want to bring more awareness to this issue and help entrepreneurs learn new and more useful ways to deal with perfectionism in business, but also in their day to day lives.

So, I’ve asked 20+ entrepreneurs to complete the following question: “You are a perfectionist if…”

The beauty of this project is that it features smart, even wise answers, but it also features funny ones like the one from John Lee Dumas at minute 01:11.

Because I believe we’re all ONE, we are all part of the same global family and that LOVE governs everything, my goal with this project was to feature as many races as possible. So we have people from all over the world, we have white people, Hispanic, Asians, African Americans.

Are you a perfectionist? Join the Live Training and Learn Why & How It Negatively Impacts Every Aspect of Your Business And What Can You Do About It!

Here’s The Video. Hit PLAY! #CurePerfectionism

Timeline

On July 1st, the idea hit me for the first time and I’ve decided to let it sit for a while and see if it feels good even after a few days.

Two weeks later, it was 10PM and I was feeling drained with energy and this project was the only thing I could work on. You can imagine that I’ve worked non stop until 2PM when I finished contacting everyone and had a much clearer idea on what I want from this project and how will it work.

Only on August 17th, I’ve managed to get all the videos from people and being a perfectionist, I was the last one to create my bit.

August 22nd, the final version was ready and I barely resisted the urge to share it before everything else was prepared.

The Awesome People That Made This Project Possible

Jen Yang: self-love coach for women – JenYangMetamorphosis.com

“So you are a perfectionist if you can’t stop beating yourself up and your ego weights way more than showing your own authenticity.” (minute 00:35)

Jason Goldberg: speaker, author, and coach – TheJasonGoldberg.com

“You might be a perfectionist if you fear sharing your work with the world because you think that whatever you are creating now is the last thing you’ll ever create. You also might be a perfectionist if you film a video about being a perfectionist 7 times.” (minute 00:45)

Check out my interview with Jason Goldberg: How to Give a Killer TEDx Presentation

Devona Stimpson: artist and co-founder at StrivenGrind.com

“You’re a perfectionist if you switch through a hundred fonts and you still can’t figure out if you want a Serif or a Sans Serif.” (minute 00:57)

Kevin Stimpson: branding expert at StrivenGrind.com

“You’re a perfectionist if you care too much about what other people think about you or your business.” (minute 01:05)

Check out my interview with Kevin Stimpson: Building Brands With Soul

John Lee Dumas: entrepreneur and host of Entrepreneur on Fire Podcast at EOFIRE.com

“You’re a perfectionist if you think your spam has to be an inbox zero.” (minute 01:11)

Roswitha Herman: clarity and career coach for millennials at WellFitsYou.com

“So, yo are a perfectionist if you always see things black or white, meaning you either succeed in accomplishing your goal or you fail. There’s nothing in between.” (minute 01:20)

Eliana Reyes: motivational speaker and self-love coach at ElianaReyes.com

“You’re a perfectionist if you destroy what you just created because you fear it won’t meet people’s expectations.” (minute 01:33)

Check out my interview with Eliana Reyes: How to Self-Love Your Way to a Prosperous Business

Tara Borghese: author and public speaker at MomentsWithMiley.com

“You know you are a perfectionist if you constantly compare yourself to other’s accomplishments instead of your own.” (minute 01:40)

Julia Wells: business and success coach for women at JuliaCWells.com

“You are a perfectionist if your dream still lives inside of you.” (minute 01:48)

Cynthia Luois: coach and host of Redefining Revolutions Podcast

“You’re a perfectionist if what was supposed to be done today gets put off for tomorrow and then tomorrow and then never.” (minute 01:53)

Check out my interview with Cynthia Luois: Redefining What Courageous Leadership Means

Maria Volovik: world-traveler and co-founder at UltimateBizBuilders.com

“You’re a perfectionist if when you don’t trust yourself enough to share your new genius.” (minute 02:09)

Check out my interview with Maria Volovik: How to Set Intentions and Live a Life on Purpose

Jan Broders: meditation and mindfulness coach at JanBroders.com

“You’re a perfectionist if playing with WordPress plugins is more important to you than serving all those people out there who need your support.” (minute 02:14)

Alex Echols: best-selling author and co-creator at UltimateBizBuilders.com

“You’re a perfectionist if you’re not able to meet people where they are at.” (minute 02:23)

Check out my interview with Alex Echols: Fears and Successful Book Marketing

Julia “Juju” Hook: brand-maker and world-changer at StrategicJuju.com

“You know you are a perfectionist if it takes a script and ten takes to shoot a 15-minute segment about why you are a perfectionist.” (minute 02:27)

Check out my interview with Julia Hook: The Anatomy of a Good Brand Story

Tamara Thompson: president at SeriousTakeProductions.com

“You’re a perfectionist when you’re compelled to make each e-mail perfect. You can stay in there for long lengths of time, but then that takes away other priorities that are on your list of things to do.” (minute 02:37)

Check out my interview with Tamara Thompson: The Secrets Behind a Successful Video

Erika de la Cruz: TV, runway host and author at ErikadelaCruz.com

“You know you’re a perfectionist if two hours later you’re still working on your Instagram filter.” (minute 02:54)

Elinor Cohen: intuitive business and marketing coach at JustMeCompany.com

“You are a perfectionist if you feel a burning desire to create a huge impact for your business but you aren’t doing so. You might be focusing on the small details instead of the big rocks that do create a change.” (minute 02:59)

Anca Cristina Petre: lover of life

“You’re a perfectionist if you can’t accept failure. You’re trying everything to avoid it without seeing the wisdom in those moments.” (minute 03:15)

Rahel S Lee: business and online marketing mentor at RahelSLee.com

“You are a perfectionist you haven’t even taken that one small step it takes on a project that you’ve been thinking about for years because you think you need to know all of the steps.” (minute 03:22)

Derrick Duplessy: host of Purpose Rockstar Podcast at PurposeRockstar.com

“You know you are a perfectionist if you never finish, finish. The risk of not committing is greater than the risk of a bad decision.” (minute 03:35)

Naiana Miranda: international speaker and founder at RaiseThe-Bar.com

“You’re a perfectionist if you keep on focusing on what could go wrong as oppose to creating a life that you want to live.” (minute 03:53)

Check out my interview with Naiana Miranda: Kicking Fear in The Butt by Becoming a BADASS

Amanda Bayerle: health coach for business entrepreneurs at TheTrueChallenge.com

“You know you are a perfectionist when you misspell a word, someone else calls you out on it and you feel so embarrassed and get down on yourself.” (minute 04:00)

Nicholas Bayerle: CEO at TheTrueChallenge.com

“You know you’re a perfectionist when you can’t even film this video because you don’t know what to say and if it’s going to be perfect. So it takes you ten minutes to film it.” (minute 04:11)

Check out my interview with Nicholas Bayerle: Learn WHY Legendary Entrepreneurs Invest in Their Health

Nichole Sylvester: Intuitive life and success coach at LibHerate.com

“You’re a perfectionist if you believe in perfection. There’s no perfection, only preference.” (minute 04:19)

Alex Mill: Zen life coach at AlexanderMillJr.com

“You are a perfectionist if you focus all of your attention on imperfection.” (minute 04:24)

You Owe This to Your Business!

Join the FREE LIVE Training on September 1st to Learn How Dealing With Perfectionism Can Increase Your PROFITS!

Share The Video With A #Perfectionist Entrepreneur

There was a lot of work involved in this project from my side, but also from all the people involved. We truly appreciate each and every share and we’ll be forever grateful.

Share it with an entrepreneur that you believe is a #perfectionist or an entrepreneur that you love.

Thanks!

– Mihai

www.CurePerfectionism.com

A Story About Dealing With Perfectionism and Bad Days

Here’s a great quote for every perfectionist out there:

“Birds don’t just fly, they fall down and get up. Nobody learns without getting it wrong.” (Zootopia song by Shakira)

Let’s stop the fear of failure and accept it as part of the journey, which does not have to be a straight line (or perfect) in order to be amazing!

Let me tell you a story about perfectionism in its purest form…

About 5 months ago, my coach told me to draw a graphic of how my emotions should look like in order for me to be happy and satisfied. How should my life look like? How many ups and how many downs can I accept?

But, as a perfectionist, I was like “what downs??? there’s no such thing in my life! In order for me to be happy, everything has to work out perfectly, there are only ups”.

And guess what I drew?!

A STRAIGHT LINE. (exactly like the one below)

There were no ups, no downs, just pure perfection, without understanding that everywhere in nature there are ups and downs, good times and bad times, positive and negative.

For me, thinking that way was equal to “dreaming big”, to “not limit myself”, but I couldn’t be more wrong.

What does it mean for you to be consistent?

Does it have to happen every day for you to label yourself as being consistent or disciplined?!

What does it mean for you to have a habit? Does it have to be daily?

What if you could be more flexible?!

What if you could accept that being consistent is about doing the same thing (habit or not) over and over again during a long period of time at an interval that YOU decide?!

What if you could accept and label yourself as being consistent by doing one of your habits every two/three days instead of daily?!

What if you could accept that there are times when you feel like doing some habit daily and there are times when you do it only once per week, but if you start in January and you’re still doing the same habit in December (daily or not), you are consistent!

What if you could stop forcing yourself from doing all the things that certain guru’s, authors and thought leaders are telling you that you should do in order to be happy, healthy or successful?!

What if you could start listening to your inner guidance and do what feels right for you?!

Can you accept having a bad day?

I’ve come a long way since that story, but it’s funny how I couldn’t accept that I can have a bad day without beating myself up for not being good enough. I couldn’t accept that in life there are ups and downs and it was unrealistic to believe there can be just ups.

I couldn’t accept that it’s okay for me to feel negative emotions without meaning there’s something wrong with me.

I couldn’t accept that it’s okay to feel tired and skip a day at the gym and that is not the worst thing it can happen.

I couldn’t accept that it’s okay to be sad sometimes without meaning that I will become depressed.

I couldn’t accept that it’s okay to be and do less than perfect.

Believe it or not, but since I’ve started learning how to deal with this perfectionist in me, everything is working better in my life, especially my business which has doubled in the past three months. Try it, there’s nothing to lose!

It’s all about the meaning that we give to the events in our life and I encourage you to take yourself less seriously! Allow yourself to fail and have a bad day because you will see that there can be some pleasure in having a bad day if you LOVE YOURSELF.

Stop the Miraculous Breakthroughs Crap & Understand How Change Really Works!

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_tagline_box backgroundcolor=”” shadow=”yes” shadowopacity=”0.1″ border=”3px” bordercolor=”” highlightposition=”top” content_alignment=”center” link=”” linktarget=”_self” modal=”” button_size=”” button_shape=”” button_type=”” buttoncolor=”” button=”” title=”” description=”NOTE: prepare thyself for a rough ride because we’re going to bust some myths.” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”15px” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][/fusion_tagline_box]

Because this is not your usual article, let me start by asking you some questions.

have you ever felt like there’s something wrong with you because you cannot change a thought pattern?
have you ever felt frustrated while reading success stories about how certain people changed their life “forever” after reading a single book or attending an event?
have you ever felt like certain success stories are missing something super important? (hint: time!)

If the answer was yes, keep reading.

I am super annoyed by all the authors, coaches, speakers and thought leaders that write books in which they describe their breakthrough but don’t tell the whole story.

You hear these authors and thought leaders kinda bragging about their moment of awakening by saying:

“so, I read that book and it changed me forever…”
“I spoke with that person/coach and my life changed forever…”
“I went to that event and I was never the same…”

Now let’s see how these things work in the real world!

Don’t even try to tell me that because of an “aha! moment” you never EVER thought about a situation like you used to think before you had the awakening.

This is exactly what annoys me. Because we, the normal people, we read tens of books, listen to seminars, enroll in online courses, work with coaches and therapists and we have tons of “aha! moments”, but just a few days after the “aha! moment”, we find ourselves thinking like we used to think.

And these “perfect” success stories are making you believe that there’s something wrong with you because you did everything they did and probably even more, but for you it wasn’t that simple, for you it wasn’t “perfect”.

Now, my question is: was it really that simple for those authors as they say?

Of course it wasn’t, but who would read a book if you market it like this:

“So here is what happened: I read these 7 books and went to 3 events over the course of 2 years. I had several AHA! moments and I’ve constantly worked on myself for another 2-3 years to INTEGRATE those teachings into my life, into my being. Then, my life truly changed forever.”

You bet it changed forever after that much work and time!

No one will buy such a book because we are all looking for the magic f$%king pill, for the easy fix, for someone to save us. And I am not better than you, trust me – it’s a trap from which I am trying to escape for years now.

Breakthrough (aha! moment) vs. real change!

I did not know how to put it in words until I read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks who talks about the difference between BREAKTHROUGH and REAL CHANGE!

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So, we have breakthroughs – when you feel that “aha!”, that clarity moment – and we have change. Change equals those months and years of work on yourself to change certain patterns of thinking, is the way you INTEGRATE the teachings into your own life.

So, I kindly ask all the authors, teachers, coaches and thought leaders out there to stop making such claims because there are many perfectionists out there (like me) who read such stories and start to believe that there’s something wrong with them because they don’t experience such easy-to-deal-with change. You cannot imagine how much pressure a perfectionist can put on herself if things don’t work out they way it did for others.

Be REAL, be AUTHENTIC, be VULNERABLE and people will still buy your book or want to purchase your products. Don’t hide the struggle, don’t hide the sleepless nights, don’t hide the frustration that comes with thinking about a situation like you used to think, don’t hide all the years of work.

Don’t hide the PROCESS, because that’s the thing most people have a hard time accepting.

As my friend, Elinor Cohen, suggested to “see these published “miracles” as inspiration of what is possible and less as “why am I not there yet?”

So, what’s this article’s keyword?

INTEGRATION. In order to experience real change you need to integrate the lessons, the aha moments into your daily life until the new way of thinking becomes normal. But I kindly ask you to allow yourself time.

It’s unrealistic to believe that you can change a thinking pattern, that you’ve developed in years or even decades, in only a few short days. Although I don’t believe there can be an exact science here, as we all have such different life experiences, my suggestion is to do your best to love yourself while working on changing any pattern – it will make life so much easier.

And this last suggestion is something that I am working on integrating in my own life for quite some time now – over six months – and yes, sometimes I do feel like it’s getting worse rather than better, but it’s normal.

Why do you think my coaching program is for six months?!(and most coaches out there are going for the same approach) It’s because they hire me to keep them accountable, to ease their way through change, to give them confidence, among other things.

And again, you can book a single session, you might have an “aha! moment”, but that does not guarantee you will actually change a certain thinking pattern.

What’s a healthy way to deal with change?

First, acknowledge the difference between breakthrough and the process that follows. Secondly, is by adding a teaspoon of self-love every time you start beating up on yourself for not being further down the road or for getting into the old ways of thinking again.

Thirdly, check out this interview that I had with my friend Jason Goldberg (an international speaker and coach) where we dive deeper into how change really works, how to accept the process and develop a more loving attitude towards yourself!

Are you a perfectionist?

Let’s have a chat and see if I can help you overcome it in your business and personal life. Book a free 30min call here!

Also, here are two books that I totally recommend about perfectionism and allowing yourself to be vulnerable:

Of course, there are still many things to be discussed around this topic or about loving yourself, but I’ll leave that for a future article. Meanwhile, if there’s one thing to take away from this article is this: have patience with yourself because real change happens over time.

Mihai Herman

PS: remember to love yourself through the process of changing your thoughts! (this reminder is actually for me – sorry!)[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]